Caro

The Desire to be Baptized

Psalm 102 paints a beautiful picture of what the Gospel is. This also is my prayer for legacy

“Let this be recorded for a generation to come, so that a people yet to be created may praise the Lord; that he looked down from his holy height; from heaven the Lord looked at the earth, to hear the groans of the prisoners, to set free those who were doomed to die, that they may declare in Zion the name of the Lord, and in Jerusalem his praise, when people gather together, and kingdoms, to worship the Lord.”

The writing that follows gives a window in to me and why on April 8th, 2012 I’m going to be baptized for a 2nd time.

I was born in the church and knew the story of God for as long as I can remember. I don’t remember a time where I didn’t know the truth that there is a God who created all that is and was. Man, including me, rebelled against that God causing division. Jesus who was God become a man, came down to die on the cross, and take the punishment I deserve for that rebellion. 

The place I’ve grown since those early years is realizing that the gospel isn’t just that Jesus made a way to get to heaven, it is that Jesus made a way for me to enjoy and know God!

Paul writing in Ephesians sums up salvation very succinctly.

“For by Grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing, it is a gift of God, not a result of works so no one can boast”  Eph 2:8

Salvation is a gift I don’t deserve. I didn’t earn it. There is nothing I did or anyone did to me that saved me or made me right with God. Jesus alone paid the debt I owe, and took away wrath pointed at me.

Faith alone in Jesus’ work is the signifying element of believers. Faith is the fruit in your life that Jesus has come in and changed the root of your tree. 

So why am I getting baptized this Easter?

I grew up in the Lutheran Church where I was baptized as an infant. My parents and aunt and uncle stood up and promised before the Lord to raise me and teach me about Jesus.  That they did.

Come 8th grade I went through Confirmation. This is where you stand up in front of the church and answer the same questions that were asked at your baptism. You are officially taking ownership of what you believe. I remember going through confirmation, and being aware and in agreement with what I was saying. 

I am extremely grateful to my parents for the sacrifices they went through to send me to a school and a church that taught me about Jesus.

This still doesn’t answer the question of why 27 later I am getting baptized again.

Worship isn’t just what your head logically believes… worship is a matter of the heart.

Baptism is a gift God calls his children to participate in. Baptism in itself is not an act we do that saves. 

Jesus ordained this as something believers should do. The parallels of going down in the water and coming back out have strong relationship to what Jesus did for us.

Romans 6:3-4

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of The Father, we too might walk in the newness of life.

Colossians 2:12

Having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God who raised him from the dead.

I spent 10 years watching believers get baptized and talking myself out of why not to go up and do it as well.  Over a period of time, my heart changed toward baptism. I wanted to go up and be apart of going down in the water and coming up.

Baptism is a gift God gives his children to participate in. To proclaim their faith and come up out of the water as Christ came up out of the grave.  I wanted to experience what believers have been doing since Jesus was on earth, and will be doing for generations to come!

So what has Jesus rescued me from?

• Being Lukewarm
• Going through the motions but having a heart that was far from him

(read here for more of my testimony)

What has Jesus rescued me to?

• Worship the living God with all my passion, emotions, mind, and works of my hands.
• To be in relationship with the creator of the universe and be stirred by the one who knit my entire being together. 

It is my joy to get baptized this Easter. Join me for Easter with Mars Hill at Beneroya Hall at 11am!

Jesus is alive and reigns as King.

Testimony - Lukewarm to Hot!

I could write for days about ways God has shown up in my life and saved me from myself.  One important moment where God showed up was when I was a freshmen in college and he did as Psalm 102 says:

“heard the groans of the prisoners, and set free those who were doomed to die”

When I came to college I looked like things were going well on the outside. I was really moral, and my actions were one that could fool people into thinking my heart was right with God. I knew a lot of bible stories, church tradition, a lot of learned prayers, and my attendance to church was great. If you looked at the state of my heart, it was pretty bored with God.  I had things under control, and I thought I was fooling God by going through the motions which is what I thought pleased God. 

I remember saying different things in church like ‘Glory to God in the Highest’ or singing hymns but the words for which I was saying conveyed a certain emotion that I didn’t have.  I remember thinking what I was saying was sort of fake, because my heart wasn’t really stirred to a place that I actually felt what I was saying.

This one night at a college gathering, I was listening to a pastor preach from Revelation 3. In this Jesus is warning the church at Laodecia who’s action seemed fine, but their hearts didn’t really need God.  

“I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.” Revlation 3

I felt total conviction of how my life and worship had turned into me going through the religious motions.

By that point in my life I had known and participated in a lot of church tradition such as order of service, hymns, and repeated prayers. My heart had lost it’s affection for the living God. I would speak repeated words or prayers, even sing hymns without feeling the emotion of what the words were expressing. The pastor would pray and I would be thinking about when it would be over because I was bored and ready for lunch.

I knew it wasn’t genuine, but I was ok with checking off the box of attendance.  Making things appear holy on the outside was the name of the game, all the while my heart was far from pleasing worship.

This brings to mind in Joel 2:13 where God says to his people “return to me with all your heart… render your hearts and not your garments.”

That night when I heard Revelation preached about the church of Laodicea, I knew I was lukewarm. Jesus was saying it would even be better for me to be completely cold to him then lukewarm which was where I was at. 

The moment was sobering, I knew I had a problem. I was going through the motions but my heart was not connected. This story of being saved by grace by Jesus alone was one I knew, yet I was still satisfied by living like my works pleased him and played a part of my salvation. I thought it was ok to be lukewarm as long as I appeared faithful on the outside.

Several verses later came the gospel where Jesus called me to come to him. 

“Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” Rev 3:16-22

I had a worship problem I couldn’t fix.  I had a God who was calling me to open the door because he was knocking and wanted me to know him on a personal level.

That night I asked Jesus to help make my heart of worship Hot. I didn’t want to be spit out.

By his grace- he has continued to do that ever since.

Lessons of a Curly Haired Girl

My hair is without a doubt curly.

When left alone or to face the elements- my hair will eventually curl. As I’ve grown through the years I think I’ve been in denial that curly hair is my best look.  There are a lot of things I have tried to do to and mimic hairstyles of girls I thought were pretty.  I have bought a lot of hair products and styling tools to transform the mane on my head.  

In the end after all my trial and error, my hair can do a lot of things, but it does one thing really well… curl.

Therefore I hold onto this simple truth about my hair: Enhance it’s strength

It may sound simple and obvious; but I’ve spent a lot of time and effort looking at the beauty, strength, and talent of other people and trying to make it my beauty, strength, and talent.  If the hair style is straight with bangs, I want straight with bangs; if it is a tanned body, I want a tan body; if it is florescent orange shirts, I want a florescent orange shirt. All the while none of those actually play into the strength or beauty God created me with.  They are for someone else.

The concept with my hair, actually applies to a lot of other areas for me- Find what God created me to be and what he designed me to do well, and then spend the rest of my days Enhancing my Strengths. 

Who I am:

• Curly haired Ginger
• Fair skinned in need of sunscreen
• Intensely curious
• Better suited to a color palette of earthy tones or soft/muted colors (basically NOT florescent colors!)
• Better at listening than delivering an engaging tale
• Will fight for joy
• In need of a Rescuer daily
• Enjoy encouraging an artist more than making the art
• Connoisseur of chocolate
• Teacher of those things I’m an avid student of
• My Identity is planted, rooted, and growing in the fact I’m loved completely and perfectly by my ever present friend and Redeemer~ Jesus

Point of View

• Neon Lights
• early darkness setting in
• solo evenings
• stoplight
• leaf-less tree
• cold air 

The point of view makes all the difference

• life of a city
• beautiful sunsets
• time to reflect
• wait… it will soon turn green
• buds preparing for spring
• cozy layers